Dating 101 - The First Call
There is a reason that I'm single. I know there is, but I haven't been able to put my finger on it (jokes aside please). Well, it dawned on me this afternoon that perhaps I'm still single because I suck at dating. If dating were a science, even though I consider myself intelligent and graduated with honors magnum cum laude from my university, I would flunk miserably. U know that awkward moment when you first meet or talk with someone and you can tell that physically everything is working, but you're not sure what else turns them on emotionally or intellectually? The best I've ever been able to do is be myself, but it seems like that's exactly what sends them running for the hills.
Anyhoo, getting to the point of this post, here along my journey to find a meaningful relationship (which would also be my first relationship), 2 nights ago I met someone. A waiter ... yes, yes he waited on me. :-) We locked eyes, there was flirting (in my head anyway) and then when I saw him again later that night at the bar, my suspicions were confirmed. After some heavy duty PDA at the bar (easily one of the top 5 kissers I've experienced in life so far -- that's pretty fucking amazing!) he gave me his number and told me to call him. When he left, I'm sure I was smiling like the Cheshire cat. Try as I might to be cool about it all, this guy was hot ... hot hot hot. Though I may like all different kinds, shapes and races of guys, the blond haired, blue eyed hottie is definitely my favorite flavor! And he was just that! We'll call him Slavic. Now he wasn't flawless, he had a little bit more around the waist than I'm accustomed to, and from what I could see a lot of hair on his chest (which is cool as long as there is no back hair, nothing is more disgusting than back hair, I'm sorry!), but everything else was hopping! There was just one itsy bitsy problem (ok, 2 problems, but I'll get 2 that later) - he wanted me to call him. Ick.
I hate being the one to make the first call, but it always seems to be me. First problem is I don't know what his intentions are - does he want me to call so that we can get together and f*ck -cuz all that kissing at the bar let me know that's what he had on his mind ... OR does he want me to call so that he can get to know me? Personally, I'd be ok with either scenario. Yes, I know, I'm a ho-no-mo, but I don't get the vapors that often so I need a lil' slack here. Second problem is ... he knows a friend of mine ... and yes, I mean he knows him in the Biblical sense. I guess that's not so much of a problem as it's just an ewwww! Baltimore is WAY too incestuous! It's like that episode of the L-Word, 6 degrees of cunt or something like that, where Alice draws the diagram that connects everyone's sleeping partners and it shows how, literally, everyone has slept with everyone. Is it like that in big cities too?
Anyhoo, so I called him this afternoon. I was very uneasy, very uncomfortable about how to steer this fledgling conversation. We talked about our jobs, our birthdays and age, some other random stuff, nothing too noteworthy or particularly funny, amusing, intellectual or even interesting for that matter. And I'm completely at a loss for anything to say that is remotely like myself - ie: witty, charming, cool, funny, intriguing. He can't talk long and says at the end of our conversation, after I confirm the number I'm calling from is my cell phone, that he'll call me back.
So, all and all, not bad I guess? Normally, I wouldn't think it was awful, but see I have a history of boys running extremely hot and cold with me. So, part of me is thinking he's not gonna call me back. Ever.
There's just one thing I need to know for sure ... in the rules of dating etiquette, a returned phone call that's promised but never happens is CLEARLY saying that party is not interested, right? In no circumstance or realm of this world should I call him again if I don't hear from him, correct? Is my thinking right on this? I need the confirmation of the dating sage that my line of thinking is solid and not tres fickle.
"I'm gonna call my baby on the phone, got ta leave a mesage just to let her know that if she ever feels alone to dial my heart." - The Boys, Dial My Heart
Anyhoo, getting to the point of this post, here along my journey to find a meaningful relationship (which would also be my first relationship), 2 nights ago I met someone. A waiter ... yes, yes he waited on me. :-) We locked eyes, there was flirting (in my head anyway) and then when I saw him again later that night at the bar, my suspicions were confirmed. After some heavy duty PDA at the bar (easily one of the top 5 kissers I've experienced in life so far -- that's pretty fucking amazing!) he gave me his number and told me to call him. When he left, I'm sure I was smiling like the Cheshire cat. Try as I might to be cool about it all, this guy was hot ... hot hot hot. Though I may like all different kinds, shapes and races of guys, the blond haired, blue eyed hottie is definitely my favorite flavor! And he was just that! We'll call him Slavic. Now he wasn't flawless, he had a little bit more around the waist than I'm accustomed to, and from what I could see a lot of hair on his chest (which is cool as long as there is no back hair, nothing is more disgusting than back hair, I'm sorry!), but everything else was hopping! There was just one itsy bitsy problem (ok, 2 problems, but I'll get 2 that later) - he wanted me to call him. Ick.
I hate being the one to make the first call, but it always seems to be me. First problem is I don't know what his intentions are - does he want me to call so that we can get together and f*ck -cuz all that kissing at the bar let me know that's what he had on his mind ... OR does he want me to call so that he can get to know me? Personally, I'd be ok with either scenario. Yes, I know, I'm a ho-no-mo, but I don't get the vapors that often so I need a lil' slack here. Second problem is ... he knows a friend of mine ... and yes, I mean he knows him in the Biblical sense. I guess that's not so much of a problem as it's just an ewwww! Baltimore is WAY too incestuous! It's like that episode of the L-Word, 6 degrees of cunt or something like that, where Alice draws the diagram that connects everyone's sleeping partners and it shows how, literally, everyone has slept with everyone. Is it like that in big cities too?
Anyhoo, so I called him this afternoon. I was very uneasy, very uncomfortable about how to steer this fledgling conversation. We talked about our jobs, our birthdays and age, some other random stuff, nothing too noteworthy or particularly funny, amusing, intellectual or even interesting for that matter. And I'm completely at a loss for anything to say that is remotely like myself - ie: witty, charming, cool, funny, intriguing. He can't talk long and says at the end of our conversation, after I confirm the number I'm calling from is my cell phone, that he'll call me back.
So, all and all, not bad I guess? Normally, I wouldn't think it was awful, but see I have a history of boys running extremely hot and cold with me. So, part of me is thinking he's not gonna call me back. Ever.
There's just one thing I need to know for sure ... in the rules of dating etiquette, a returned phone call that's promised but never happens is CLEARLY saying that party is not interested, right? In no circumstance or realm of this world should I call him again if I don't hear from him, correct? Is my thinking right on this? I need the confirmation of the dating sage that my line of thinking is solid and not tres fickle.
"I'm gonna call my baby on the phone, got ta leave a mesage just to let her know that if she ever feels alone to dial my heart." - The Boys, Dial My Heart
posted by Saturn at
2:56 PM
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